Saturday, April 18, 2009


Well how do I put this lightly... My horse is pudgy. Festively plump. Big boned. Fluffy around the edges. Chubby. No matter how much I try to sugar coat it, one thing is certain. My horse is a complete and utter FATASS.

Howie is pretty much my dream horse. When I lost my best friend in horse form at age 10 to a horrific car accident I knew that I couldnt live with just 1 horse, especially since that one horse was arthritic and unrideable. I told my dad that I wanted a "big gelding" and shit, thats what I got. In fact, I got 3. Spoiled much? My dad is a vet who specializes in equine dentistry and has lots of good horsey connections, and he started asking around. Soon he heard that there was some sort of draft quarter horse cross about 20 minutes from us that was cheap, friendly and needed a home soon because his owner didnt want him anymore. He went and looked and fell in love. That night he gushed about him for the longest time, especially about how BIG he was. I was incredibly stoked to go see him. It went from there.

Howie had apparantly been shuffled through over 7 homes in his first 5ish years of life. He was an accident foal, the product of a bunch of percheron and belgian mix mares and one horny draft qh stud who needed his balls hacked. The mares were left on pasture for over 6 months and when the owners came by after a long time, surprise!! There was a foal. So we know that Howie is 3/4 draft, either percheron or belgian, and 1/4 qh. We can infer that he was treated pretty shitty by old owners considering the fact that he was only about 5 when we saw him and his withers and underbelly were dotted with those little white specks from a poorly fitting saddle. He also has quite the chunk missing from his tongue. Pictures will come eventually.

We had many ups and downs over the years, from me falling off on our first ride at home to us trying Parelli (vomit). He was green, I was young. His ground manners were flawless but as soon as you got on his back he was a completely different horse, spooky, bolty, shaky and all around terrifying. I grew to fear riding him. I didnt ride him for about 2 years, he was essentially a pasture puff. I started riding him again about a year and a half ago but due to mild arthritis that occasionally spikes in the winter, hoof abcesses and me being very busy and having another riding horse, he hasnt been consistently worked in a long long long time.

What does that mean? I'll tell you. You have a VERY easy keeper combined with pasture 24/7, an owner who is a sucker and feeds whenever her horse looks at her sad, and almost no work. Plus he is extroadinarily lazy.

So join me on my journey where I attempt to take my fatty mcfatterface from a 2000 lb horse to a muscular, very in shape beast.

And for your enjoyment- Babyish Howie (top) and Fatty Howie (bottom)